Charmian Hughes – Gas Bottle Homicide

Charmain Hughes

Charmian Hughes

I’ve done two things in the last week that have made the festival suddenly feel concrete rather than a vague event that’s going to happen to me months off, while I passively waft along rather as you do in pregnancy – till that poker up the bum feeling tells you it is all very nigh indeed.

I’ve found a flat and I’ve done a final edit on my fringe listing.

Finding a flat, through the Fringe Accommodation Register, was a huge relief…then a big anxiety in the terrible cyber silence after I deposited five hundred quid in the bank account of someone who I wasn’t completely sure existed. But she does exist – or so she says and man cannot live on paranoia alone. Although living alone is a good start. But I’m not.

I will be sharing the stripped floorboards, two bedrooms, (one en suite), lounge, eat-in kitchen, additional bathroom, garden, easy access to civilized strolls in the botanical gardens, the bohemian shops of Stockbridge, the fierce breezes off the firth of forth – all the things I imagine will replace the day long hangovers experienced in previous festivals with actor/performance artist Flick Ferdinando who I once almost killed when she was trapped in my camper van after volunteering to change my gas bottle for me and it all went up with leaping flames – and I ran away, but not far, before racing back and turning off the external gas tap.

You can toy with your fringe brochure listing till the cows come home/infinity/the deadline at 1700 GMT on April 27th. How to get everything you want to say, including the title, into 40 fascinating words is the dilemma of deciding what to wear on that first blind date. My first version was all whacky and gushing; after a few days it just looked pathetic. The final version, crafted under the guidance of the Gandalf like John Fleming, is plain speaking and descriptive. In the end you can’t beat a decent pair of jeans.

Charmian Hughes: The Ten Charmandments is at Music Room, PBH Free Fringe@ Banshee Labyrinth, Niddry Street. 6.40pm (not Mondays) 6-27th August.

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