In a cynical attempt to drum up some traffic through my website I’ve launched a personal blog section.
Most of it will be shameless compilations of other people’s stuff like this. A collection of my favourite tweets from January 2011 going back to September 2010 when I originally signed up to Twitter.
I’ve also included some of my tweets which were re-tweeted by others. Such as this one..
DAILY MAIL READERS. Get back at asylum seekers by all going to live in their country just to see how they like it. /via @theianfox
— Twop Twips (@TwopTwips) January 16, 2011
Others from January I retweeted included
FORD OPEN PRISON. What do you expect if you serve white wine with beef? Don't even get me started on the Foie Gras. @UsuallyAnnoyed
— Twop Twips (@TwopTwips) January 1, 2011
Except for broken leg, black eye, flu, and fungal infection, second day of new year going well.
— Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) January 2, 2011
LUDDITES. Find out what it's like to be a non-celebrity Twitter user by making short, boring statements to an empty room. @PunctuationPlod
— Twop Twips (@TwopTwips) January 20, 2011
I can't get enough of this Rorschach guy, his paintings of butchered prostitutes are amazing
— Craig (@cmb) January 11, 2011
Can any one remember if custard creams cause cancer or cure it?
— mail reader (@DailyMailMan) January 24, 2011
WRITE the alphabet around the edge of your ironing board to encourage ghosts to do the work for you. /via @GrahamGoring
— Twop Twips (@TwopTwips) January 17, 2011
Looking forward to Burns Night. Can't think of another cartoon character I'd rather honour.
— Kevin Bland (@kevbland) January 25, 2011
Andy Gray's sacked for suggesting a female colleague should put her hand down his trousers. It's political correctness gone mad
— Kunt andtheGang (@kuntandthegang) January 25, 2011
WILE E COYOTE. Beat the roadrunner by over-developing his natural habitat and causing his eventual extinction. /via @moc_moc_a_moc
— Twop Twips (@TwopTwips) February 1, 2011
More people seem to get killed at religious festivals than at rock festivals. Not sure I have a point to make. i'm just saying.
— Ian Fox (@theianfox) January 14, 2011
Oh I wonder what christamassy emails have I received this morning?……apparently Argos' sale is now on
— Ian Fox (@theianfox) December 25, 2010
RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER. You may want to consider a blood pressure check before pulling any heavy sleighs this Christmas.@VizTopTips
— Ian Fox (@theianfox) December 22, 2010
The Christmas period is so called because in the run-up to it there are many arguments for no particular reason.
— Gary Delaney (@GaryDelaney) December 16, 2010
Remember, if you haven't already done so, you can decide that Piers Morgan is a cunt at any time. #piersmorganisacunt
— Simon Donald (@simondonald) December 15, 2010
That Wikileaks cunt better keep his mouth shut about Big Sam. He's got no proof it was me who sent those letters to Princess Eugenie.
— notBigSam (@TheBig_Sam) December 10, 2010
I like peeing outdoors in this weather. With the amount of steam rising it looks like i'm passing some kind of toxic waste.
— Ian Fox (@theianfox) December 6, 2010
Big Sam loves a bit of Hanson. I can still remember finding out the lead singer wasn't a lass. Gutted. What a waste of a wank.
— notBigSam (@TheBig_Sam) December 3, 2010
Wayne Rooney is definitely getting paid too much. http://twitpic.com/33tew3
— Ian Fox (@theianfox) November 4, 2010
Big shout-out to all the non-fiction authors, keeping it real.
— Gary Delaney (@GaryDelaney) November 17, 2010
Just farted into my hand then released the stench in the wife's face. Classic Big Sam japery.
— notBigSam (@TheBig_Sam) November 14, 2010
I'm a bit OCD, so whenever I undress someone with my eyes I always spend ages folding their clothes neatly. They lose interest. I'm alone.
— Moose Allain (@MooseAllain) November 10, 2010
It's 9/11 all over again!
— Ian Fox (@theianfox) November 9, 2010
"that's no moon, that's a petrol station" #slightlywrongfilmquotes
— Mat O'Brien (@MOBHANDED) November 8, 2010
'i-phones have ruined dressing room banter'
— Mick Ferry (@MickFerry) November 7, 2010
FIREWORK failed to go off properly? It could be damp. Pop under a hot grill for 10 minutes to dry out then re-ignite. /via @hinch100
— Twop Twips (@TwopTwips) November 5, 2010
A LIT MATCH is an ideal way to read the instructions on fireworks if your torch has run out of batteries. /via @moc_moc_a_moc
— Twop Twips (@TwopTwips) November 5, 2010
SLIMMERS. Pretend you're a pro boxer at your weekly weigh-ins by wearing Y-fronts and trash-talking your fellow fatties. @RANTINGMALE
— Twop Twips (@TwopTwips) October 13, 2010
Just saw a crazy motorcycle driver whiz by and said 'he's got 10 mins to live' … 10 mins later we passed him dead on the freeway.
— Amazing Johnathan (@theamazingj) October 12, 2010
Presumably these coaches carrying the EDL supporters are provided by Nationalist Express.
— Paul Sinha (@paulsinha) October 9, 2010
VACUUM-CLEANER MAKERS. Install headphone ports into your products, then only the user will have to put up with the noise. @Sciross_Scoross
— Twop Twips (@TwopTwips) October 9, 2010
Just noticed Twitter keeps prompting me to "Add a location to your tweets". Not falling for that one.
— Al-Qaeda (@alqaeda) September 15, 2010
As the Tory Party Conference begins, spare a thought for the cameraman whose task is to pick out supportive ethnic faces in the audience.
— Will Smith (@willsmithuk) October 3, 2010
Breaking News: Archaelogists digging at the site of Shakespeare's house have uncovered thousands of monkey skeletons.
— Gary Delaney (@GaryDelaney) October 2, 2010